I Eat Yucky Stuff!

So Delicious Coconut Yogurt

2011-11-15T17:33:00.000-08:00

Today marks the first - and last day - I will be tasting coconut-milk-yogurt.

Trader Joe's Beef Chili

2011-11-05T03:27:00.000-07:00

3 a.m. beef chili straight out of the can?

Yessiree!!

I think I must be three-eighths hobo.

Zucchini Souffle

2011-07-11T17:04:00.001-07:00

I picked up some frozen zucchini souffle the other day. I'm probably one of the few people on the planet who loves fried zucchini, so anything zucchini-related sounds good to me!

Frozen food is generally not awesome -- except tater tots and things wrapped in filo dough... oh... and Eggo waffles! And hot pockets. And fish sticks. Okay never mind. I love frozen food. But I was still afraid of this souffle concoction.

Here's what it looks like out of the microwave. It has a nice toasty brown top!

Here's me taking a bite.

Here's me thinking, "This stuff is REALLY MUSHY!!!"

I hate to say, I will probably not make this purchase again. I like that it's lo-cal, has a ton of Vit C (as far as I remember from the packaging), and has 2 servings of vegetables, but it was just too gushy and wet for my taste. Maybe it would be better if you heated in the oven, but let's get real, people, I'm never turning on that oven.

Green Bean CHIPS

2011-06-27T20:49:00.000-07:00

I was looking for dried mangoes at Whole Foods the other day, when I ran into Green Bean Chips.

I like green beans. I like chips. Would I like green bean chips!? I was skeptical. But curious.

They had a nice crispy crunch to them, although sometimes the beans inside would be too hard and I'd have to spit them back into the container (don't share with me...). They were a lot sweeter than I had imagined, naturally so, as there is no added sugar, just some sea salt.

They are not TERRIBLE, but they are not my fave.... I will have to go back for those mangoes. File this under: emergency snack only.

Vegan Green Smoothie Roll Up

2011-06-22T21:39:00.000-07:00

So I've been hearing that Brit Brit is back....

... well so am I!!!!!!!!!

Check out this Green Smoothie Roll Up that someone brought to Hairy's work and then Hairy brought home. I was like, "Does this have an expiration date???" And Hairy goes, "No, it's FRUIT ROLL UP."

???

Anyway, it was green. Very. Green. It kinda looked like if you had a ball of horse manure and then pounded it into a piece of cellophane. If you thought really hard about fruit roll up, then it kinda tasted like that, but a bit thicker and and crumblier and maybe a bit chalkier or spinachy-er. But hey. With 2 servings of spinach and 4 servings of fruit, I would eat this fo shizz.

Our roll up was from The Kombuchary.

Wanna buy a monkey!?

2010-09-30T02:14:00.001-07:00

Okay, not a monkey...but an I Eat Yucky Stuff button?

I designed two for you, and you can buy them HERE!!!

Do it! It's fun! :)

I also made a nifty button for it on the side bar --->

Funky Seaweed Salad

2010-09-28T21:48:00.000-07:00

So Hairy and I checked out this place down the street from our house called KINGDOM OF DUMPLINGS. It kind of looked like a crap-hole, and I was scared, but the food was good! Dumplings = A++!!

We also ordered some marinated seaweed salad. I have kind of an expectation of what seaweed salad looks like from eating at Japanese restaurants, but this salad was different. This salad... looked like a big ol' pile of TAPEWORMS.

I was little hesitant. BUT IT WAS SO GOOD!

It was a bit thicker and more plastic-y than the Japanese seaweed salad, but it had a nice garlic-y sesame oil-y flavor. Its bulk made it feel like a real manly vegetable to eat.

Kingdom of Dumplings: I will eat your green tapeworm salad any time.

GUESS THAT YUCKY THING giveaway!!!!

2010-06-24T19:34:00.000-07:00

EDIT!! This giveaway is closed!!!!! We have a winner :). Thanks for participating!!! Feel free to just be grossed out in peace now.

Okay, folks. I was inspired by something I ate recently to have a "guess that yucky thing" post. I believe this yucky thing looks even YUCKIER in this photo than it did in real life!! Proud of my nasty phone cam skillz!

The first person to correctly Guess the Yucky Thing will win a very small, token, mystery package from me, including non-yucky items like delightful candies and biscuits and perhaps a commemorative "I eat yucky stuff" button.

The only hints I will give you: my mom made me eat it, and she said, "It's good for your skin and your hormones." !!! That could be a lot of things in the world of Chinese cooking, but there's your only hint. Okay, one more hint. What looks to me like a limb/arm/hand... is not.

Also, I would say that people in my family are disqualified from the giveaway. They probably just ate this, too.

Next post: my dad emails me, tells me I was a fat baby, makes a suggestion for a Yucky Stuff entry, and buys the item for me as well!

VitaTOPS!

2010-04-26T21:01:00.000-07:00

I think this belongs in the "yucky" category, cuz generally, food that is touted as "low in fiber," "low in fat," "100 calories only," etc etc generally is not super tasty.

Find out if VitaTops make the cut!

Rice Yogurt

2009-12-30T14:29:00.001-08:00

Hairy was very nice and bought me rice yogurt the other day, because I do in fact enjoy rice milk.

Sorry the images are backward. I usually forget to have Photobooth flip them, and I get too lazy to do it in Photoshop!

The fun surprise about strawberry yogurts is that sometimes they end up being BROWN! :/

It was kind of hard for me to get over the color. It's like you're thinking YOGURT but it looks like GRAVY.

It had a fine consistency, but it just did not have that tartness that I do so enjoy from regular yogurt. It was just kind of sweet, and only a little bit tart. Not quite yogurt, not quite pudding, and still lookin' like GRAVY.

I give rice yogurt a thumbs down.

Blast from the Past, Weenie-Style!

2009-11-08T19:39:00.001-08:00

So, some of you may know that I used to host this blog at the now defunct Uber.com, and I had always planned to transfer all of the old entries over to here (blogger.com) but, I was always too lazy!!

Since I have been really bad at eating yuckystuff regularly these days, I thought I would bring back an old favorite. Some of my new readers may not have seen some of the old stuff before.

The picture coming up is from the time I tried to cram an entire can of Vienna Sausage into my mouth at once. I can't remember if I was successful or not! I think I also lost some followers, and maybe even friends, at this point. It pretty much makes vegans/vegetarians want to die. It probably makes omnivores want to die, too. I didn't end up eating the sausages, I'll tell ya that. I think I ate one, and it was REALLY SQUISHY. Like, it was already half-digested. I do have my limits. I do. I like to digest my own food. Call me crazy.

Canned Quail Eggs

2009-09-17T17:11:00.000-07:00

Soy Drinks!

2009-09-11T15:03:00.000-07:00

Legend goes that when I was a baby, I was so fat, that I had to drink soy milk as a milk-replacement. I can never tell whether or not my mother is joking, so I'm going to go with it. Apparently my love for soy has stuck with me to this day, because I LOVE soymilk and tofu and bean curd skin and fake tofu meat and edamame etc etc etc!!!

I posted this pic the other day on my regular blog:

Which led to someone from Vitasoy leaving a comment for me, and also @'ing me on Twitter, and blah blah blah, and then I photoshopped myself this fake shirt!!

1st fan photo on the My Vitsaoy Facebook fan page, what!

I know, I'm really dorky....

I also really loved this instant soy drink mix we got at the Korean market. Just add hot water!!! Sweet, soytastic, soysational.

Anyway, then my friend James asked if I'd ever tried black sesame soy milk before. I had not, but, coincidentally, I DID have a box of it in my fridge, waiting to be sampled. I was afraid. I do love soy milk, and I do love black sesame, but I was just really afraid of the two put together.

It was clearly time for me to embark on this soyventure.

First sip.

Success!!

It's a bit sweet and a bit thick, but it wasn't completely yucky. I may not really buy it again, but I did finish the box.

Some girls are telling me that Vitasoy makes a chocolate mint soy milk around the holidays. Now there's something to be excited about!

Cold, Naked, Hot Dogs

2009-08-03T15:34:00.000-07:00

If the packaging says FULLY COOKED ...... I GO FOR IT.

Who has time to cook things that are already cooked? That's just wasting your day. That's just wasting YOUR LIFE.

Plus, when the weather is warm, a nice, cold hot dog, will do ya right.

It's kind of like a bologna sandwich. Without the sandwich.

PORK AND BEANS

2009-06-23T16:24:00.000-07:00

Sorry again it's been so long! Sheesh!!!!!!!

Today is HOBO TUESDAY!!! It's all about PORK AND BEANS, straight out of the can.

I thought it would be a nice snack, since it was 98% fat free.

But this is not the beany deliciousness I love and remember. I think it needs the fat put back in it!!! It almost has this diet-soda aftertaste that is really weird and off-putting.

I'm getting original next time!! Bring on the fat!!! Just kidding. I don't want the fat. But really, I need the FLAVA!

PORK SUNG (dried pork stuff)

2009-04-27T15:49:00.000-07:00

Hairy and I drove down to Cupertino over the weekend to meet my folks and my bro and Jaci for a hot pot dinner in the Asian Village. After ordering food, we ran into Ranch 99 to shop in the grocery store of My People. We came home with lots of goodies, one of which was Pork Sung.

I think this is one of the foods that could really boggle the minds of the average white person. Basically, it's a lot like cotton candy, EXCEPT MADE OUT OF PORK. It's salty, fluffy, and it melts in your mouth! What's not to love!?

Protein in a pinch! Literally!!!!! nyuk nyuk!! Today, I couldn't be bothered to figure out what to eat. I made some tea, toasted some bread, slathered on a little Earth Balance, and then added a nice little layer of Pork Sung to my breakfast sandwich. Thumbs way up!

Twice Baked Potato (frozen)

2009-04-14T10:54:00.001-07:00

I think that a lot of my "yucky" food choices stem from desperation, i.e. not wanting to leave the house or spend money, so I forage around like a bottom feeder and see what I can pick up. No, I'm not eating cow bladders or boogers, but, I think this next adventure was pretty yucky!

And I ate the whole thing.

I need a cool t-shirt about how much I love a microwave. I would starve to death without a microwave. I LOVE YOU, MICROWAVE!!!!

Nougat & Superfood

2009-03-12T15:54:00.000-07:00

So if you really want to eat a nougat with pistachios for lunch......... can you balance that out by drinking some Odwalla Superfood?

Oyster Stew

2009-03-05T18:29:00.000-08:00

I know I don't keep up this blog as much as I used to. Frankly, I just don't eat interesting food EVERY single day. Sometimes you just wanna eat toast and have a cup of tea, ya know?

Sometimes I think I should kill this site, and just post yucky food blogs at twinkiechan.com/blog. I'm not sure. If you have any thoughts about this, I'm all ears! And then I'll think about how much I love the IDEA of this site, and how I NEED a logo that represents a can opener and a spoon, the official tools of a Yucky Stuff AdventureEater.

At any rate, I've had this little gem in my cupboards for some time. I bring you: Oyster Stew.

(Sorry about the really scary preview pic down there. I don't know that you can control that on Flickr!!!)

37 C Dessert cafe on Valentine's Day!!!

2009-02-15T21:18:00.001-08:00

I ask that you check out my regular blog, www.twinkiechan.com/blog for my Valentine's Day entry, wherein Hairy drinks Salty Lemon 7Up and eats ramen with bacon-wrapped hot dogs on top.

Green Tea Porridge

2009-02-13T15:44:00.000-08:00

So, there's this yummy little rice dish at Sushi Sam's that we like to get that somehow involves tea and either a little bit of salmon or unagi. A little while ago, Hairy and I were walking the aisles at our local Korean grocery store, and I stumbled upon this box that reminded me of that dish at Sam's. It seemed a bit disturbing in a box, but we took it home for snackventures.

The REALLY disturbing part to me is that the porridge is just sitting on a shelf, all liquidy and gooey and ready to go. I know there are canned soups and other moist and squishy things that have a shelf-life, but this was my first experience with boxed mushy rice. It kind of goes against all your own beliefs in never leaving your food out or it will rot. I know it's sealed, but, really, what a puny seal to keep your rice from going green.

I did enjoy sprinkling on the seaweed and green tea packet. I think there are little toasted rice nubs in there as well. TASTY!

Then you give her a little stir and stick her in the micro for about 2 minutes and PRESTO!!! Your strange midnight snack is complete!

Considering its appearance, it didn't taste horrid at all, and I asked Hairy to buy another box... haha. If you don't have texture problems with porridge (I sure don't...I grew up on this stuff for breakfy), I give CJ Green Tea Porridge two thumbs up!

Soy Drink with Walnut & Peanut

2009-02-09T21:13:00.001-08:00

So, Hairy just went grocery shopping at the Korean grocery store.

I have been on a journey through all the different non-dairy milk beverages. I found an almond milk I enjoyed immensely, but now we can't seem to remember exactly what it was, and all other almond milks taste like poo. One time we tried a brown rice milk that tasted like dirt. Currently I am in love with OAT MILK. It's like soy milk without the soy...and the Original flavor is not too sweet.

Here I am sampling a Maeil brand Soy Drink with Walnut & Peanut (the other side of the box is in Korean, I think).

This next photo is actually the first sip I took.

It is shockingly PEANUT-TASTIC!!!!

I have nothing against peanuts, but, it's a little weird to be drinking liquid peanut, don'tcha think?

P.S. Sorry I have been SO remiss in journaling my yucky food adventures. Don't worry. I'm back in the saddle of gnar gnar and will be bringing you up to date with the horrors of my snack cabinet.

Mushroom Pate

2009-01-18T22:24:00.001-08:00

Mushroom Pate, originally uploaded by TWiNKiE CHAN.

Soooo, tonight we are making our own wontons, but my snacky-organz got antsy while Hairy was at the store, so I busted out some of our booty from a trip to Cost Plus:

MUSHROOM PATE'.

I have never had this before. It was a fungus-fueled adventure.

I left the sound as-is (no editing or music) because some of the crunchy noises are fun in the end. Plus you can hear me watching Nat'l Geographic in the background!

(I'm a little sad that Photobucket is warping my preview image on videos. Oh well! Sorry for the Zoolander mouth!)

Ultimately, it tastes and smells like slightly-more-seasoned Cream of Mushroom Soup. Not bad. Not great!

Hot Chocolate and Seaweed

2009-01-07T21:59:00.001-08:00

Snacky Snacky
Originally uploaded by TWiNKiE CHAN

Sometimes you just need salty and sweet at the same time....and sometimes you need to IMPROVISE!!!!

Check out a mouthful of Carnation hot cocoa and SEAWEED!!!!!! Cruncha muncha!

N.B.: Korean snacking seaweed has really great, toasty flavor, and is light and delicate (but a little oily). I prefer the flavor over the Japanese snacking seaweed. We tried to make sushi with Korean seaweed once and it just fell apart because it was so thin. SADZ!!!

Heinz Spaghetti

2008-12-26T01:24:00.001-08:00

Heinz Spaghetti, originally uploaded by TWiNKiE CHAN.

Who in their right mind comes home from Xmas dinner and opens up a can of Heinz Spaghetti?!?!?!

That would be NOBODY. Because only a very insane person would do such a thing!!!

My excuse is temporary insanity and PTSD upon hearing that we didn't bring home any of my mom's stuffing to snack on, so then I ended up going to our Cupboards of Yuck.

This was the first time I've tasted Heinz Spaghetti, and, I thought I'd never say this:

I'd rather eat spaghettios.

Pretzel Time

2008-12-18T17:41:00.001-08:00

Pretzel Time
Originally uploaded by TWiNKiE CHAN

Me: OOOOH Let's get Easy Cheese!

Manda: We got that once a long time ago!

Me: WE DID?!??!! (can't remember)

Manda: YES!! And you LIKED IT!!!!!

Me: (excited)

P.S. Click on the video if you need it a bit bigger. It's kinda tiny here.

"Food that looks like other food" Sunday brunch pot luck!

2008-12-15T15:45:00.000-08:00

On Sunday, Hairy and I had a bunch of peeps over for a holiday gift exchange and "food that looks like other food potluck."

I expanded on my meat cupcakes and made a full-on layered meatloaf cake with mashed potatoes! I decorated with little tomatoes and grated parmesan cheese.

Hairy made a pepperoni pizza, that was actually puff pastry, with raspeberry sauce and white icing, and he made the little pepperonis out of white chocolate and red food coloring.

I also wanted to make bacon and eggs sugar cookies, but we kinda ran out of time to make dough from scratch, so Hairy picked up some Pillsbury dough which sort of squished out during the baking process, but you get the idea and they were still tasty!

Esther and Oliver came with hamburger cookies!!! Check out the hand-cut christmas trees AND stars of david!

And Guapo made nachos!!!! He started by baking flour tortillas with cinamon and sugar, and then topping the chips with candied cherries, mini chocolate chips, grated fresh mango, and condensed milk. So crazy!

As for the outcome of the white elephant gift exchange.....I got some delicious retro-looking pepermint ribbon candy, and also PARTINI!!! We can be just like the cool kids in the commercial!

HELLO TINI!!!!!!

PECAN PIE!

2008-12-03T22:47:00.001-08:00

PECAN PIE!
Originally uploaded by TWiNKiE CHAN

This video is pretty much self-explanatory, but one of my typical munchy faux pas is that I don't like to cut off servings of food (like cheese). I just like to eat bites off the giant thing (like PIE!!!!) and hope that nobody notices or minds......

I freakin love pie crust. My favorite pie would be the kind that you'd throw in somebody's face i.e. 100% pure whipped cream on a crust!

Batter Blaster - Pancake Batter "spray"

2008-12-01T22:43:00.001-08:00

Batter Blaster, originally uploaded by TWiNKiE CHAN.

While we were at WholeFoods, Hairy randomly picked up some of this pancake batter in a can. He ended up making waffles for dinner on Sunday night.

Here's the Batter Blaster in action!

As it turns out, the waffles end up being a little bit....chewy. But what this junk lacks in texture, it makes up for in style!

Pretty much any food you can squirt out of a nozzle is a winner, don'tcha think?

(moldy?) Chocolate Graham Crackers

2008-11-28T20:53:00.001-08:00

moldy graham crackers?, originally uploaded by TWiNKiE CHAN.

Sometimes I try to find chocolatey alternatives to cookies and brownies, and chocolate graham crackers usually fit the bill.

Tonight I tried to snack on some, and then I looked and saw that they were all covered in a mysterious white speckled substance! My instant reaction was, "I JUST ATE MOLD!!!!!" This is especially bad because I have some post-Thanksgiving Day doodoos to contend with today.

Hairy took a look and thought it might be flour, since every single graham cracker was speckled. Even the pack that was not yet opened had speckles in it.

So, ultimately, I'm not sure if it is mold, or if graham crackers are even able to mold, but now these suckas are in the trash bin, and I ate Gerber Graduates biter biscuits instead. MMMM!

What I Brought to Work Today

2008-11-25T10:31:00.000-08:00

I've been down at the office earlier than usual, and I clearly kind of panic over what to bring to eat.

Pictured:

Activia Yogurt: Seems kind of runny and thin.
Nature Valley Oats n Honey granola bar: One of my fav bar-shaped foods!
Fuji Apple: from our Spud.com order
Ferrero Rocher: Fine Hazelnut chocolates from Hairy! I told him during a commercial that I was into horrible holiday chocolates, e.g. ALMOND ROCA!!!!!!!!!!

But now it's freezing in the office and I seem to be craving hot, oily, bad pizza a la Domino's.

(also posted at twinkiechan.com/blog)

Pork Pate'

2008-11-24T19:05:00.001-08:00

Pork Pate, originally uploaded by TWiNKiE CHAN.

It was one of those pate' days again. The kind of day you come home from work screaming for protein, and this is what you end up eating straight off the block, no crackers.

I'm pretty hardcore.

I have to say, that this super fancy-looking loaf from Whole Foods isn't that liverliscious. It's kind of like a weird pressed meat log.

Not so yummy, but, obvs my standards can be pretty low.

Yes, that is 90210 that I'm watching. The episode in which Donna almost gets raped by that weird bald dude.

The McGriddle

2008-11-21T01:26:00.001-08:00

mcgriddle, originally uploaded by TWiNKiE CHAN.

Yes, it's official.

At long last, I lost my McGriddle Virginity. I broke the McGriddle Barrier. I was really afraid of the McGriddle for a long time. Pancakes...syrups.....and MEAT!?! It was too much for my brain to handle (I know I just mixed donuts with spinach in my last post....but still). My brother had long hailed the deliciousness of the McGriddle, but then it seemed like one of those nasty things that only boys like.

So when Manda called me, about to come over, asking if I wanted McDonald's for breakfast, I could not deny her. And I took this opportunity to be brave. To take THAT leap.

I was surprised that the pancakes that sandwiched the bacon (I got bacon, I think, instead of sausage...sausage sometimes gives me the doodoos) were so THICK. Small and thick. Biscuity pancakes. And they were definitely syrupy sweet, playing grease-tag with the salty bacony goodness. When you eat the McGriddle, you don't even know there are eggs present. This is about cake and meat, my friends.

Would I order it again? Meh. I don't know. It wasn't BAD.

But my all-time favorite fast food breakfast is still the Crescent Supreme Meal at Jack in the Box. NUM.

Donuts n Spinach

2008-11-19T16:32:00.001-08:00

Donuts n SPinach, originally uploaded by TWiNKiE CHAN.

So while you are looking at this, please listen to this. I'd embed, but the embed code was removed!!

This is what I had for "brunch" today, in between a phone meeting and an in-person meeting.

We'd bought some little donuts last night, but I didn't eat any, so I was rarin' to go after waking up.

However, I did realize, that donuts are not very nutritious, so then I whipped out the CANNED SPINACH!!

I am very healthy, you see. I should write a book.

Pate' and Potato Chips

2008-11-06T22:43:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I know you have all dealt with this common conundrum.

You're like, "Damn, my boyfriend just bought me some wicked pate'! And I wanna eat it right now!"

And then the bad news is, "Shoooot! I don't have any crackers to spread this luscious liver upon!"

So you dig around in your cupboards, and all you have is potato chips.

Done.

I know this post will help many of you out there solve your pate' problems.

(And yes, the chip looks red underneath because they are weird all-natural red potato chips from Trader Joe's.)

Porter Cheese (it's really brown!)

2008-11-01T19:29:00.001-07:00

This photo was originally uploaded by podchef on Flickr.

Normally, I place a ban on cheese in my house, because we LOVE cheese here, and we don't want to be supercheesefatties. However, there are two exceptions to this: American singles to wrap the dogs' pills in, and gourmet cheese upon occasion.

This is an Irish porter cheese. It's super dark, chocolatey-looking cheddar that gets its brown marbling from a dark ale. I don't like beer, but I do like me some beer-cheese apparently.

About 49% of me thinks that it's weird for cheese to be this color, but then 51% of me ate it anyway. I'm hoping this means that I will only absorb 51% of the fat.

Mysterious Ice Cream Cracker/Cookie

2008-10-28T21:02:00.000-07:00

Sorry the pic is backward....(blame PhotoBooth).

Anyhoodles, Hairy was out buying stuffs for pasta dinner tonight, and I got the snackattacks.

We bought this box of mystery cookie/crackers from the Japanese grocery store a little while ago, but I never bothered to try them, until now.

Call me insane, but I'd prefer to eat Emu Jerky than these sugar bombs! www.IDontWannEatCuteStuff.com! The cone is nice and crunchy, but the "ice cream" part is kind of soft and crumbly. I'll stick with real ice cream, thanks.

All the blowing motions are due to that stupid ice cream cookie/cracker throwing up all kinds of crumbs on my keyboard!

(P.S. I downloaded that song b/c Hairy has a lot of hate for it. I think it's funny!)

Emu Jerky

2008-10-26T04:52:00.000-07:00

Some more bootie from my bro and Jaci's honeymoon in Australia.

EXOTIC JERKIES.

Tonight, Hairy and I sampled the Emu jerky. Let me tell you, there's nothing worse than jonesing for emu at 3 a.m. Or blogging about it at 5.am....

If you didn't tell me it was emu, I would have no idea I was eating something bizarre. I mostly noted the overwhelming taste of teriyaki. Not so exciting, until you look at the label and realize you are eating a cute little fluffy emu's dried flesh. Hairy kept dipping his hand back in the bag, so clearly, it can't be that yucky.

Here's the video of us chowing down for the first time. Note, that I say EMO instead of EMU!!!!!! (And I kept doing it after I turned off Photobooth.) Sorry, I'm foreign, and we don't have the sound "u" where I come from. Either that, or I have a secret past in which I listened to a lot of Juliana Theory and Jeremy Enigk. (Okay, not so secret anymore. Run away!!!!.......)

Long & Skinny Hot Dogs Right Outta the Fridge

2008-10-22T21:00:00.000-07:00

Hot dogs are already cooked right?

Sometimes I really do gross out my own self. It's a really weinerrific video.

At least Bibi still loves me. And my salty, snappity meats.

This is the sad fallout of Chili Dog Tuesday: Cold Hot Dog Wednesday.

Did I just admit that I ate hot dogs two days in a row?

Pork Rinds (From Australia)

2008-10-21T16:52:00.001-07:00

My bro and his ladywoman went to Australia for their honeymoon. They brought me back a bunch of strange snacks, which included two bags of pork rinds: one regular flavor, and one spicy bbq.

I am not really a pork rind girl, nor a spicy nor a bbq kinda gal, but, seriously, the regular flavor was very...porkrindy. I needed the delicious spicybbq powder to cover up the strange aroma of fried pork skinz. I can only describe it as a smell and not a taste. Your nose and mouth get filled with the musky scent of rendered hog parts.

This is not one of those things that I crave and love. I ate them because they were in the cupboard and I was starving.

At least they make nice crunchy sounds!

ENCHILOSA Ramen Cup: fatty, salty goodness

2008-10-13T20:59:00.001-07:00

Try not to look so excited.

One time at Safeway ... I got really excited about taking home this box of instant noodles. Maybe it was the fat and sodium content that made me so giddy. I'm always up for something that's going to slowly kill me.

Sorry it's blurry. It's to hide the bad news.

I've had this in my cupboard for a while, and today was The Day.

I boiled water in the Holy Hot Hot, and peeled back the noodle cup lid.

I kind of freaked out at this point because I could SMELL the spicyness.

I know I should have taken the obvious chili graphics on the box as an indication. But at the time I thought that was just decorative, and not any indication of actual heat.

How did it taste?

Ok, I lied. Two or three bites later, and my mouth was blowing up. I will not be revisiting the Enchilosa, but this means that I can eat almond M&M's to make up for all that loss in fat intake. WIN!

The Spice must flow....................Just not from our O-rings.

SPAM n EGGS - A CLASSIC

2008-10-04T17:55:00.000-07:00

So, I was deciding whether or not to go into the office on Friday, when I discovered that I couldn't log onto the work server. I called the office and they told me that Comcast was down until 2pm, so I didn't figure it was worth the trek just to be in an office with no internet.

What's a girl to do instead?

FRY UP SOME SPAMZ!!!!!!!

I ain't afraid of no Spam.

AND EGGS, BETCH!

bok bok

This was quite eventful for me because a) I don't really cook or use the stove very often b) I don't usually eat breakfast c) I never ever ever use the stove during breakfast time.

I guess that's a good thing, or else I'd weigh a kabillion pounds and have Spam jelly in my arteries.

Glutenous Rice Balls and Rando Pumpkin Dessert Soup

2008-09-30T03:31:00.001-07:00

Hairy had been thinking about making this hot dessert soup made with pumpkin from his Thai cookbook. We had some plain, canned pumpkin left over from Bibi (it helps dogs get over the squirts!), so he mixed the canned pumpkin with coconut milk, condensed milk, and bananas, stirring over a hot stove.

I was a bit skeptical because I am not a huge fan of pumpkin...

...but it ended up tasting ok. It was really thick, and REALLY SWEET, and had the consistency of the contents of a baby's diaper.

He also wanted me to make what my brother and I called "crispy gooeys." They are balls of glutenous rice flour, fried up. The insides are hot and gooey and the outside is super crispy, kind of like a McDonald's french fry... except ... not. Usually I will make them and them dip them in sugar, because otherwise, they are pretty bland.

You just throw some glutenous rice flour in a bowl, like a cup and a half, and then add water and mix until you have a dough you can roll out into little balls.

(That's not my picture.) Then after rolling some rice ballz, warm up a pot of oil to about medium heat and drop your ballz in. Keep a plate next to you with paper towels or napkins on it to soak up the oil when you take your fried oily ballz out of the heat.

Anyway, in the pot, they will start to sizzle and bubble a little bit, and sometimes they even SING and WHISTLE. Be careful, they also swell and pop open like popcorn, but this is good, because it exposes more of the insides to the hot oil so that it can cook more.

Usually this popping is not an issue, but tonight, it was...EXPLOSIVE. It resulted in lots of screaming, burning, making of messes, and early shut downs of pots of boiling oil. I was wounded on the chesticle and Hairy got hit on the finger. I think my shirt is ruined. We'll see.

Careful with oil, kids! I have no idea what went wrong this time, but it was a full out fried ball debacle. Maybe I had the heat on too high. Forensics will bring up further data... Hairy has to take his point-n-shoot into the shop tomorrow because he can't get the vegetable oil off the camera lens. And while I am sure the vaseline-haze on the camera would make for more flattering, flawless portraiture, perhaps I am not quite at my Erica Kane phase yet. (Does anyone ever know what I'm going on about?? I think I'm showing my age with my previous statement about showing my age.) ((I'm SO COMPLEX!!! JEEZ!!!)

But anyway, in conclusion, tonight we dipped our hot balls into some sweet ass pudding, broski, and it was TOIGHT.

(Below is the recorded video evidence of my retardation. This is why I am not allowed in the kitchen. I destroy precious electronic equipment, favorite articles of clothing, and I put innocent lives at risk. I'm sorry it's kind of long - two whole minutes and THEN some - but these are the events as they happened. If you can't hear what I say at the very end, it's something like "I'm DONE!!!!!")

1st post using Blogger/Blogspot: MINI MEAT CUPCAKES!!!

2008-09-28T00:56:00.000-07:00

I am going to miss Uber.com! Wah! I was very sad to have to move my site somewhere else. It will never be the same! Ah well. Now I am at blogger/blogspot. So that I don't feel overwhelmed by moving all the old stuff here at once, I will probably make a habit of loading one new entry and one old entry so I don't go insane.

I think this first entry at blogger.com is a doozy! Fancy photos, crappy photobooth photo, and horrid experimental film! NOICE!!!

For Guapo's birthday, Hairy & I decided to bake mini meat cupcakes, i.e. little morsels that LOOK like cupcakes, but are actually little meatballs frosted with mashed potatoes. I think they turned out really cute!!

We used Tony Danza's (haha!) recipe for meatballs, and I also added an extra clove of garlic and extra parmesan cheese. Hairy took over for a little bit and added some other shizz like oregano and garlic powder or whatnot.

We used instant mashed potatoes that actually turned out super yummy and buttery! And added a little bit of red food coloring for the pink color. I cut off the pointy bottoms of some grape tomatoes to use for cherries, and sprinkled the cupcakes off with chopped chives.

Super cute, and super yummy! Maybe slightly yucky for those expecting to eat something sweet, or those who hate meatballs...but I would totes make these again and maybe next time not tell anyone they are MEATALICIOUS.

(On a side note, Hairy took a video clip while I was frosting the meatballs. Mostly I thought it would be funny to see how my dress matched the mashed potato pink, but the video came out pretty dark. Here's a Photobooth pic instead:

Then I started messing with it, and the video of me piping potatoes onto some meatballs turned into this "creepy" video. Enjoy! If you can make it to the end, I think it does actually look a bit creepy...)

Testing this thing you call Blogger.

2008-09-27T02:17:00.001-07:00

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